Been back at work now for 2 months. I was really worried about the stores they gave me but it has ended up being a blessing in disguise! I really enjoy my visits and they are doing well. I really have to step outside my box and be more aggressive than I am used to but when I do, great things happen!
I am finishing up my second class this semester, and then I will have 2 left plus my capstone before I will be awarded my MBA. If I push really hard, I can be done by the end of September of this year. That would be one full semester early. I honestly am not sure what I would do with all the extra time!! Maybe clean the house? haha I have even gone as far as to find out what it would take to get an additional bachelors degree in marketing or accounting. Have I completely lost my mind?! I have been going to school now since 2006 without a break. Certainly I should be more than ready to stop right? But it's only 4 more classes and a capstone, to get a degree that is more specialized. An MBA is so broad, I worry I won't be able to find a job since it's not very specific. My thought is that if I were to get an additional BS degree in either accounting or marketing, it would make me more enticing to employers. Not that I plan to leave Verizon any time soon- just want to keep my options open.
Audrina is getting SOOO big. And I am not just saying that! She is in the upper 90% for both height and weight. Apparently I have giant children that grow like weeds haha. She was over 15 pounds at her 4 month check up and 25.5 inches long. Goodness gracious! Not bad when she started at 7 pounds and 20 inches. Haha She can already roll over and is quite the talker. Amden never talked much as a baby but not we can't get him to be quiet. Maybe she will be a quiet toddler (we can only hope haha) She has been sleeping through the night since about 8 weeks which is very helpful with my crazy schedule. Oh and her brown hair- ya it's mostly blonde now. Looks like we are going to have another blonde hair, blue eyed child on our hands.
We have a trip planned in July to go and visit my family. I am renting a cabana at the pool at our hotel so we can lounge by the pool and keep the kids in the shade. They are even going to move stuff around to accommodate our pack and play. I am finishing up my round of HCG in the next couple days. I have lost 32 pounds so far and I am hopping to lose another 3.6 in the next couple days for a total of 35.6 pounds this round. I am taking a break and then will do my final round in August which will hopefully put me at my goal weight and healthy BMI.
Amden is fully potty trained and has been for several weeks now! He occasionally has an accident at night, but he hasn't had an accident during the day for weeks! We are very proud of him! He can sing his abc's and is even counting past 10 now! We are starting swim lessons in a couple weeks, and he is very excited. We are also growing a garden with peas, carrots, peppers and tomatoes (I think haha). Hard to believe he is going to be 3 in October! He is so big that we sometimes forget he is only 2- until he acts like he is 2 if ya know what I mean haha
I go to visit Adrian twice a week to decorate his space and then to clean it up so they can mow. I have bought him a bunch of decorations to make his space special. Pin wheels, stuffed animals and angel statues. Grandma Renae also stops by and leaves him little gifts which I am sure he enjoys! We have finally put the order in for his marker. I just have to go pick out the shade of blue I want to use. I am really happy with what we came up with and so glad I found this company to do the custom work for us! They are going to change the little girl non the moon to a boy and of course fix the misspelled word but overall it's perfect! We walked in Running With The Angels in his memory and it was so awesome that so many of my friends, family and even coworkers came to support. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful walk!
Well that is what we are up to these days. Of course I will say that I will try to be better about keeping this updated but we all know how well I keep that promise! hahah
Please let me thank you for having the courage to share the progress of your pregnancy with your twins. I am currently struggling with a very similar situation (my twins are both girls) and am a "proper" (insert British accent) mess. Haven't done an amnio and problems only show on the ultrasound and echocardiogram for one twin -- NT was normal as was my screening labs. Was wondering what kinds of things you found most helpful to cope as you went through this. I have read that gettings lots of pictures (loved your 3d/4d images - great idea) and such is helpful. Did blogging help you process what's happening?
ReplyDeleteI am having a hard time sharing the developments with people -- even family. For right now, it is easier for me to enjoy their happiness for our twins than to deal with people and their reactions to our uncertainties. (Not to mention the well-intentioned and inconsoling thoughts.) Anyway...my heart is just grieving the possibilities, which I know is normal. Afraid to face the many decisions you know all too well. Unsure of what to even hope for. And all the spectrum of different emotions and guilt and joy that happen all at the same time.
BTW -- I am familiar with your school and want to wish you the very best as you finish up. I am thoroughly amazed that you have kept up with your academic pursuits while making this incredible journey. So many students who attend that school are like you...doing amazing things! Good for you! Be sure you attend graduation! You deserve it!
What an incredibly trying time for you and your family! I remember it all too well. Going between emotions of being thankful for my babies, blessed to have them but so uncertain of the future. There were many things I did to cope.
ReplyDeleteBlogging definitely helped. It gave me a way to keep those informed that wanted to know what was going on, without having to recount each appointment over and over again.
I researched A LOT! I wanted to know all I could about possible outcomes and what my options were. I was lucky that my OB and NICU were willing to go along with whatever my decisions were, regardless of the diagnosis- many in my situation are not so lucky. That is why it's important to have facts.
I did allow myself to buy a few things that matched for my twins, in hopes to be able to capture a few pictures once they were born. I have since decided that I will probably donate them to the local children's hospital since our Adrian lost his fight before we had that chance.
NILMDTS (now I lay me down to sleep) provides a free professional photographer that can come take maternity shots before the babies are born and beautiful photos once they are here. I highly suggest contacting them and meeting with a local photographer. https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ Work with them early so that they know to expect you and also put their information into your birth plan once you have one made up so the nurses know to call your photographer. I highly suggest also letting them know as soon as you are admitted that you want them there. I unfortunately did not get the chance to have a photographer at my birth and it is one of the things I regret the most.
I also had a beautiful experience of seeing both babies in 3d and capturing their photos and video. This was also provided by a non profit company called Sustaining Grace. They are a couple who lost their daughter to Trisomy 18. They provide the service free of cost and I am so very grateful for those memories. http://sustaininggrace.org/
Check with your hospital to see what services they offer for families in your situation. I was blessed enough to have a group called Angel Watch that was a free service. They came to my home, helped me grieve, helped me celebrate and provided me with so many resources. They took one of Adrian's blankets and made it into a bear that we display on our fireplace. Our hospital also provided free hand and feet molds that are amazing. If they don't offer something like that I suggest looking for memory making things at your local art store (3d molds). I even found some at Walmart. I had as tupperware box full of everything so it was ready to go when I went into labor. Paints for hand and footprints, camera, batteries etc.
I found a site that has other families on it that are carrying (or carried) to term despite a poor or fatal diagnosis and it was so helpful to read their stories, their birth experiences and talk with them. I got a lot of my information about the above from there.
ReplyDeletehttp://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6711405/carrying_pregnancy_despite_poor_or_fatal_prenatal_diagnosis
There is also one specific to those carrying twins http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6728455/carryingcarried_a_multiple_pregnancy_despite_poorfatal_diagnosis
If they think it is trisomy 18 there is a lovely facebook group of families with living and angel children. While they mainly advocate fighting at all costs for your child, they do accept with open arms all families regardless of the decision you make. We are in a very different situation as we have our healthy child to think about too. Trisomy 18 Mommies is the facebook group should you be interested.
Please email me at nicole.olsen1203@gmail.com should you ever need to talk, vent, cry and just need someone to listen. I am happy to help you in any way I can. Remember to enjoy the little moments. It does get easier (if that is at all possible).. I think I finally came to terms with the possible outcomes and by doing all the research and preparing myself as best I could, I found ways to cope. reach out to someone that you can talk to before and after their birth- a professional even if that is easier. Cry whenever you feel you need to. Don't be afraid to laugh. Celebrate your healthy baby too- there is no harm in doing that. And know it's ok to make decisions, and then change your mind, and then change it again. I am a firm believer that only you will know what is right, and sometimes you won't know till you are in the moment. My thoughts are with you and your family.